Preggers!

Somehow I have kept myself from posting this for almost six weeks, but I am obviously beyond elated to report that I am nine and a half weeks pregnant!

I have resisted the urge to celebrate too hard at this point, but some of my nerves were eased nearly two weeks ago when we got to see the heartbeat. The scary thought of miscarriage is still something I think about every day (though thankfully I am thinking about it less and less and generally keeping myself calm and occupied). But, the good news is that once you hear a heartbeat, the chance of miscarriage drops from 20-30 percent down to approximately 5 percent. It goes even further down after the 10th or 11th week, so I am just crossing my fingers that little Matt Jr. stays in place for the time being and emerges from the womb around his January 2, 2012 due date!

I want to share all kinds of details related to discovering I was pregnant to how I'm feeling to changing doctors and everything else, but for now I thought I would compile my list of what worked for me into one spot. Of course, I can never be sure that any single thing or even combination of things led to my BFP (big fat positive, for those uninitiated in the world of POAS [peeing on a stick = pregnancy test]). Still, I know that my cycles decreased in length every month, and I went from the extremely long cycle to the cycle where I ovulated on CD35 in about four months, and that was the cycle that did the trick.

Here's what I did in a nutshell:

• Fertility Friend daily charting -- I charted not only my basal body temperature before I got out of bed each morning, but I also tracked my cervical fluid (TMI, I know, but necessary if you're serious about TTC) and cervical position as I assumed I was getting closer to ovulating. I would even wake up at virtually the same time on the weekends as during the weekdays. I think my body was so stressed about conceiving that I had an internal clock that would jolt me awake at the same ridiculously early time of 5:15 Monday through Sunday. (Now that I am pregnant I am not temping nor am I waking up early on the weekends, thank God.)
• Daily exercise -- at least 30 minutes of aerobics, sometimes more, plus strength training 2-3 times per week
• Gluten-free diet with an emphasis on no processed foods, lots of protein, plenty of fresh veggies and fruit and minimal sugar
• Green tea a few times a week
• Pomegranate juice a few times a week
• No caffeine
• Extremely limited alcohol (I will admit that this past cycle when I got pregnant was the cycle when I drank the most alcohol -- granted, "most" means I had approximately 5 drinks in the 35 days, but still....)
• Herbal supplements: vitex, red raspberry leaf (capsules, not tea)
• Vitamins: prenantal vitamin, B6, B12, D, E, cod liver oil, evening primrose oil (before ovulation)/flaxseed oil (after ovulation)
• Ate raw pineapple core from 1DPO (day past ovulation) to 5DPO to assist implantation (Who knows if this is a crazy witch-doctor thing or not, but I had a pineapple on hand after I ovulated with a pineapple core divided into five even sections because I didn't want to risk being wrong on this one.)

If this sounds like a lot....well, you're right, it is a lot. I felt really healthy, though, so even if it hadn't worked for TTC purposes I think it was the right choice for a healthy lifestyle that happened to give Matt Jr. a good start at life. Now that I am battling some serious food aversions (more on that later) I wish I could eat the kinds of foods I was eating when I was TTC, but right now my strategy is to eat whatever will stay in my stomach.

The emotional investment of TTC was severe for me. Even though now I have pregnancy hormones for sure and get more easily emotional than I would before (nothing severe....my husband will tell you I am a level-headed pregnant woman), right now I am nothing compared to how emotional I was during TTC. I have never felt so out of control and so alone in my entire life. I would cry myself to sleep on many occasions (when I wasn't having sex....we had A LOT of sex to get to where we are today) and I would cry many times on the way to work (one time causing me to almost get my first traffic ticket of my life) and I would cry when I found out other people were having children. I was not myself. If it had lasted much longer I think therapy would have been the next step because for the first time in my life I couldn't fix what was wrong with me and I didn't know what to do.

Thankfully, because the emotional investment was so severe at least the financial investment was extremely minimal. Because we chose to hold off on the medical intervention route at least for a little while, virtually everything I did to achieve pregnancy was inexpensive. Yes, I bought a bunch of OPKs and HPTs and more expensive food overall and some extra vitamins, but that's all a drop in the bucket compared to what I would have paid for fertility treatment. I'm not saying I wouldn't pay for fertility treatment. Instead, I simply feel exceptionally lucky that this happened the way it did.

I share this information in the spirit of this blog, to share with close friends and hopefully future friends who struggle with fertility problems the hope that you too can take back some of that control that you resigned, advocate for yourself even when your doctor (as mine did) tells you it will be extremely difficult to down right impossible for you to get pregnant on your own. The vast majority of women who want babies eventually have them. We all come about it a different way, and what works for me won't necessarily work for you, but I have faith that something will.

Most importantly, know that you are not alone.